What does it mean to lead a Bourdainian lifestyle?
I don’t think Anthony Bourdain ever set out to lead a cult.
I don’t think the goal of traveling the world with a camera crew — eating, talking, connecting with every person he could possibly encounter — was ever to find himself a prophetic following that hung on his every mantra and learning.
I certainly don’t think he expected his suicide 7 years ago to result in his popular classification as a martyr for the anxious crowd of all those searching for meaning in life.
It’s hard to say how he’d react to all this. What on earth would he think of Bourdain-tok? — clips of him smiling and jumping into a pool overlaid with acoustic shoegaze pop and his voice in classic Tony drawl:
“If I'm an advocate for anything, it's to move. As far as you can, as much as you can. Across the ocean, or simply across the river. The extent to which you can walk in someone else's shoes or at least eat their food, it's a plus for everybody.
Would the boy from Manhattan feel sheepish reading thousands of comments thirsting “he’s so boyfriend <3” or “ugh why can’t he be mine”? Maybe he’d get it. He’s seen everything after all — that’s the whole point.
One thing I do believe — Anthony Bourdain believed in the message he shared. He felt whole-heartedly that if more of the world developed his empathetic respect for people unlike himself we would be a better culture. I think he’d be happy to see so many people take his ideas to heart.
I read Kitchen Confidential in 2019, and apparently like many others, had a profound reaction. I still struggle to put into words just why or how 300 pages about chefs banging in walk-in freezers and sobering up just enough to turn their sourdough starter affected me so much.
It’s an extremely human book. A bit of an expose on the contrast between an elitist culture and the ultimate working class community that supports it. Even within Bourdain himself, there’s a constant interplay between his self-destructive urges and his blissful gratitude for the good things around him. Such is the life of a chef. Such is the life of any of us — maybe that’s what’s so inspiring.
And so the question becomes — what does it mean for someone like me to be inspired by Anthony Bourdain? How should I live my life if I feel like my beliefs align with his?
I’m not a nomad, a chef, or a tv star. I do spreadsheets for a living and am at a stage in my life where I don’t have the freedom to travel overseas. I can’t be Anthony Bourdain.
But his values still ring true:
Go out of your way to try as many things as you can
Treat every person you meet like you have something to learn from them
I’m unemployed right now which means I have a lot of time to think about restructuring my life with these ideals in mind. Here’s what I’ve come up with:
TRYING NEW THINGS
Take the task of discovering new opportunities seriously. Train my personal social media algorithms to show me all the niche community events happening around town. Spend legitimate time brainstorming ways to find new experiences
Avoid commitments that ‘require’ me to be there every week if I can. So many experiences pop up last minute and I don’t want to miss them because of repeating events which are definitionally not new. (of course recognizing that community building does require a level of repeated attendance)
CONNECTING WITH PEOPLE
Talk to everyone I possibly can. Strike up conversations with people waiting for the bus. Ask people at the park what’s on their mind. Go places I don’t normally and try to learn how other people find joy in their lives
Approach disagreements with humility. When me and another person don’t see eye to eye, take a step back and remember that they’re probably just as likely to be right as me
Bring joyous, open-minded energy to every room
There’s a lot of amazing people doing a lot of amazing things. There will always be more to experience if I hold the right approach to find it.
That said, the question looms: Anthony Bourdain is a man who ultimately committed suicide. Does it make sense to idolize a philosophy for finding happiness that ultimately failed it’s loudest voice? It’s a question I, or anyone, might never answer. Tony had a lot of demons. Maybe that’s why we love his words
